Cross My Heart and Hope to Write


Friday, April 19, 2013

The Strongest Kind of Love

I have a question for my devout readers, one that I have asked friends and colleagues, and am always surprised and intrigued by the number of responses I get.

What is the strongest kind of love?

The most popular answer seems to be the love a mother has for her child or the love shared between siblings. Though I am fairly certain I am not a mother, I absolutely can see without a doubt the strength of that connection. As for sibling love, I know that if it weren't for the genetic relatedness inherent in the DNA of the blood coursing through myself and my brother's respective veins, I would probably hate the guy. Yet, I love the kid - always have, always will. So to that end, it certainly is quite strong.

My answer, however, is a bit more general: I argue that the strongest kind of love is one where - no matter what you do, no matter how hard you try, no matter what anyone or anything else tells you - you can't not love them. Think about the two examples I just gave. A mother can't choose to not be the mother of her child. She likewise can't not love her child. I can't choose to not be my brother's brother and for the same reason I can't not love him. Or is there indeed a choice?
Are there other instances in which one could love someone so much that, no matter what, they will still love them? A situation in which relatedness is not involved? I would say yes.
I think, ironically, the love we feel for ourselves isn't built this way, but it should be. The love of the self should stand strong, even in the face of our mistakes, our regrets, our flaws. No matter what, you should love yourself.
Let's take this even further. I think - in very unique circumstances - someone could meet someone else, fall in love, and, even if the relationship dissolves, even if they have a falling out, they move on, they still retain that same undeniable love, no matter what. This can happen between friends or lovers. I think it is a rarity, but even if the other person goes on and falls in love with someone else, that unconditional love will persist between them, maybe even only by one person. That I think that is what unconditional love is. No matter what he or she does, no matter what conspires, no matter how much you try and push them out of your mind, to escape them, you still love them. And that's ok.

People have disagreed with me on this (some even saying, "That sounds like it sucks"), but I want to know what you guys think. What is the strongest kind of love? Leave a comment below.    

“The deepest frustration a poet must endure, having spent a life of expression through words and rhyme, is never possessing the ability (for his tools are endowed with this singular flaw) to adequately encompass that mystery we call love.”  


  1. I agree with what you have said. There has now been at least once in my life where I have had to stop being friends with someone or vice versa due to personal reasons. And the idea is even after I have stopped "being" in his/her life, I do still hope for good things to happen to this person because I do still care. For that reason, it takes me a while to get over a relationship between friends or with a partner because I once shared a lot with them and it is very unfortunate that I cannot continue to be in their lives.

  2. The strongest kind of love has not to be familial, romantic, or a friendship type. The strongest love is one that has been tested in the toughest weather and has been strengthened by it. When a link has been created that cannot be broken by major strikes against it, no matter from what direct - be it from one side or the other or external - it is a permanent link that stands the test of time (to use a cliche'). That is the strongest love. The strongest love is one that is built on the foundation of a reason to love, and the reason to continue loving unconditionally.

  3. I one hundred percent believe this to be true, i know because i have been lived this and no matter what i still had an unconditional love for that person even though i was in love with and married someone else.The strongest love without a doubt a love which you cannot lose no matter what they do, or how hard you try. lovely article and so true to life!

  4. Thank you for all your kind responses. I hope this has inspired you to love without boarders and to examine the love that pervades your own life. Love of the self will guide you.