25 Things I've Learned In 25 Years

1. Life is filled with irony, dichotomy, and incredulity. 
2. Nothing will ever turn out exactly the way you expect. 
3. Finding yourself, embracing your identity, requires letting go of people’s opinions, normalcy, becoming comfortable with judgement, and not having everyone understand. 
4. Hurt people hurt people. 
5. Learning to forgive, and maintaining an air of detachment and indifference, can save you a lot of time and heartache. In the face of hurt, forgive. Try to understand your transgressors. 
6. Anger, hatred, resentment, envy, and jealousy are self-destructive. If you water their seeds (and they prefer tears over water) their roots will grow strong and deep. It is a weed, once cultivated, that is incredibly difficult to winnow out. Forgive. 
7. It is far easier to be cruel than to be kind. If you choose to be kind, realize that it will mean having to endure more, having to fight more, having to feel more and think harder. It is not easy, but life rewards those who are kind. 
8. There won’t always be a “right thing to do” in every situation. Search within yourself for what you feel is right for you, and do what it best for your heart and mind. 
9. To love someone else, you have to love yourself. It is ok to say, “I love you, but I love myself more.” Sometimes you have to let go. Sometimes being selfless means being selfish. 
10. Empathize with people. Try to see how they see the world. Try to teach them how to love themselves, but know that you can’t be the one to fix them. 
12. It is ok to fear some things, but not to let fear hold you back.
11. Mistakes are wonderful things. Flaws are wonderful things. Regret is the monster that makes them seem terrible. Don’t regret. Reflect, accept, and learn. 
13. We are never perfect.
14. That makes us perfect. 
15. Everyone is a work in progress. Never stagnate - constantly work towards an unachievable ideal. A human being is the only piece of art that is never finished. The art is the artist. The artist is the art. 
16. Beauty is everywhere. Try to see the beauty in things and in people. It will teach you how to appreciate. There is always a silver lining. 
17. Slllllooooooowwww dooooowwwwwwn. Embrace every moment. Make time to do nothing. Spend time with friends, and family, and strangers, and music, and sound, and smiles, and food, and air. Cherish everything. Savor the in between. 
18. Challenge yourself. Push yourself. Experience as much as you can. Take risks. Throw yourself into strange situations. Have faith. Be free. 
19. Actions do speak louder than words, but words can work wonders if they’re used properly.
20. You always have a voice and a choice. 
21. Love is not something you wait for. It’s something you create, employ, and bring to every table you sit it. If you love openly, and passionately, and unabridged, it will confuse people. It will make intimate relationships difficult to manage. But it will also make them more intriguing, dynamic, and passionate. Communicate. Be vulnerable. Leave the heart open. Tear your walls down. 
22. Anything worth dying for is worth living for. And fighting for.
23. Happiness is perspective. With age comes perspective. Even the memories that make you sad, the choices you’ve made that cause you pain, can be transformed into goodness. Your faculties make your reality. Choice is the greatest power you have. There is nothing that can’t be fixed. You are in control. You are never a helpless victim. 
24. Anything and everything that can’t possibly go wrong will. 
25. Never stop learning. There are no new endings, only old beginnings.

Alma Mater: The Significance of Education

I recently graduated from Stony Brook University. Though I may be the minority, I speak candidly when I say that I have sincerely enjoyed nearly every minute of my time there. There have been trials and tribulations, but they are all part of the education I received. As a transfer, commuter, and working-class student, working an average of 30 hours per week, yet still managing to find time to volunteer at research labs and hospitals, I am blessed to feel so connected to the university. How is this possible? It's all about where you put your passion.

I think identifying with your studies is incredibly important for anyone seeking higher education, although the practice should be instilled as early on as possible. And I don't mean simply liking your studies for career purposes. Taking ownership of your studies, learning to instill a sense of connection to the education you are receiving, is important for securing happiness and positivity throughout your college (and school) career. It is also an important life lesson.

It's simple, really: We all take classes we don't want to; we all get stuck with that one course we absolutely dread. However, no matter how pointless and cumbersome the class may seem, you're guaranteed to learn something new and interesting. It is inevitable. And that very fact makes it not a waste of time. If you approach the class actively seeking to learn something you hadn't learned before, you will feel more engaged, more connected, and more interested in the subject. This goes with life, too: If you are stuck at a job you hate or in a situation are obligated to be in, either change it or make the best of it, and that's a matter of attitude. Make it matter. Make it worth it. Take pride in it and put your happiness into it instead of waiting for it to give it to you. In life, you have to make your own happiness. 

I have met hardworking men and women who never finished high school with a larger intellect than some of the kids I've met in college. It's all about where you put your passion. Every experience is a learning experience and if you approach life with curiosity, with a sincere desire to learn, and to own your education, your life will be enriched. It's not about the diploma on the wall - its about the vibrancy you impart onto your life and the life of others. You are your education.        

Fight For Your Passion: Omasum

Don't second guess yourself. 

If you feel it, if you taste it, if you can't escape it, embrace it. 

Everyone has a passion. Some of us are consumers, indulging in things or experiences. Some of us are producers, people who have a drive to create things. Some of us are both, but nearly all of us has a passion. All of us has something we are passionate about. 

Is there something you can't live without? Is there something that motivates you against your will? There are good addictions and there are bad addictions. Bad addictions destroy you. Good addictions sustain you. They can be hobbies, they can be interests, they are things that make you happy and help you reconnect with yourself. Often, it is when we are enraptured in our passions that we feel most alive.

In the hustle and bustle of contemporary reality, it is sometimes hard to find the energy and the time to feed those passions. We feel the drive, we feel the desires, but we convince ourselves there are more worth-while things to be done. That is you denying yourself. That is your heart telling you what you need. It's a hunger - feed it!

This life is a gift. That means it has been given to you and you own it, so you do whatever you wish with it. Would you rather pursue your passions and fail or never pursue them and never unlock your full potential? Don't be afraid to stop EVERYTHING and GO!!! 

Book signing for DBAM at Stony Brook University

Omasum

The iridescent taffeta that covers my stain glass bones

Builds a wickiup of plasma that smolders and corrodes

And this algid patina that covers my radiant face

Keeps from the world the smile that it scolds.

In the black and white albedo of a lunatic sphere

That bleeds a curious complexion, both brutal and queer,

Its prism projects molten opal upon the cardboard race,

Who communicate with buttoned lips and listen with biased ears.

While they fold in their lackadaisical limbs,

Taking off their hats, splitting their lips upon the brims,

I cast my crystal cobwebs across their noses in disgrace,

Listening as gravity crinkles my thorny heart like tin.

I can hear its asperous teeth dig into it like pi

As that morose masquerading marionette in the sky

Continues to encircle me, soldering my carcass in place,

As the golems peregrinate around the apocryphal sty.  

Listening to the masticating music as it unfolds,

Transcending the bitter warmth and sweltering cold

Until a dynamic paralysis trickles into the case

Of alligator skin that covets this once human mold.

And what I knew of longing seems to gangrene into fear.

That gentle glow has turned to tarp, through which I’m forced to peer

Upon a smithereen of what was once my cosmic base, 

Which I snatch up starvingly like a begrudged souvenir     

Until that nimbus vulture that emblazons my chagrin,

Hovering like a noxious conversation that’s been drawn too thin,

Bursts like an aneurism, cascading naked shards of space

That land upon my gasoline tongue, quite saccharine. 

And I taste the aureola, combusted before my elytroid eyes;

And I collapse onto a padded pedestal, whose pain is amplified; 

And as my heart gallops off, its bent-in bruises throttle its pace,

Until it too is smeared across the flippant canvas and dies. 

There I fall like argyle rain

In the foyer of consequential refrain,

Collecting like autumn leaves

In puddles of psychedelic disdain.

I cachinnate at all the almighty delusions I sought to free,

Yet I still pursue the jaundiced cud that trundles out of me.

Shout Out

I met a guy through the grapevine who has his own poetry blog and is trying to get people excited about his writing, especially his new book. His name is Plot 121 and his work spans a large swathe of themes. Check out his blog and support your local artists. Much love.

UPDATE: MY BOOK IS OFFICIALLY OUT!!!

This post has been a long time coming, but I am honored and in awe to announce that I am officially a published author. This is truly a dream come true for me. My book, Death By Active Movement: The Certainty of Life through Poetry, has just released on Amazon.com. The book is a collection of original poems exploring the relationship between life and death. The poems are meant to illuminate the concept of death and to show how our own evanescence, the fleeting nature of existence, is precisely the reason why life should be cherished and appreciated. All the wonderful miracles, all the pain, all the sensations, everything it means to be alive is beautiful precisely because it must all come to an end. From love, to the afterlife, suicide, and everything between, the poems cover a broad sweep of subjects, some sweet, some somber, some graphic, some grotesque, but all filled with novel ideas and powerful imagery. Thank you so much for all your support and much love to everyone who orders their copy. 

This is the pinnacle of my life thus far.  

UPDATE
Christine Sampson has just written an amazing article on the West Islip and Three Village Patch covering the book. Give it a read and learn a little bit more about myself and what's between the covers. I'm incredibly honored to have this distinction. Much love to Chrissy for writing the article.   

UPDATE: Dreams As A Mirror Of The Self: dream

Dreams are interesting things. For millennia, mankind has attempted to interpret his dreams, to divulge their esoteric and other-worldly meaning. No doubt, our mindset, our waking thoughts, our worries, and the circumstances surrounding our lives have an influence over the unconscious manifestations in our dreams. You can learn a lot about yourself if you listen to the content. 

I always gage the quality of my sleep based on how many dreams I can remember in the morning. Some people can't remember their dreams, although I'm sure they still exert an influence on them while they're awake. Even our nightmares, particularly recurring fears and themes, are a means of getting more in touch with ourselves. Perhaps they represent an opportunity to face something that hinders you in your waking hours and challenges you to overcome your conscious fears.    

I know many expressive people who's dreams have made thier way into their poetry, painting, and music. Always reflect on your dreams in the morning to learn something from them and use them to enrich your life. They are, after all, yours.      

dream

behind these rancid eyes

hides a bag of hopes and a box of lies,

i push aside 

to find you still asleep

your eyelashes were fluttering,

a symphony of peace they spun,

just like the night before

until i woke up to find the sun

my mind was still a haze

as i erased the past few days

and found myself alone with thoughts

of someone i had never known

with her image in my head

i laid there in bed

and knew her love had still in me yet grown

yearning for that gift,

i fell silent once again,

awaiting if or when

into sleep i would drift 

as i did, she was there

and hadn’t moved a finger or a toe,

and as i crept closer,

i felt the lust in me grow

feeling her breath upon my lips,

in my head i begged, ‘a kiss’

‘a kiss for i and no one else’

‘a kiss for me’

‘for myself’

i knelt beside her breast  

and now the heart inside my chest,

the heart i held for years alone

and shared with no one else

had fallen silent hence no more,

erased the pain i had abhorred,

and beat faster,

ever faster,

far faster than before

my pulse felt shattered with delight

having found a love of which i’m sure

this loneliness in me i see will vex me no more

for now i lay my lips to hers 

and know this is no dream

her taste is sweet, her affection pure

and in that moment, i believed

but as i opened up my eyes,

the sunlight compelling me to weep,

i see 

i had never known true love 

for i had lived it in a dream 

UPDATE

My first book of poetry, Death By Active Movement, has officially released. You can order your copy by going to the link above.

#DBAM